9.8.08

life lesson: relationships

he was getting upset, and i didn't know why. asking over and over if it was okay if he went out to hang out with his friends this evening, like he has for every saturday evening for the past decade or more. asking again and again if i'm okay, if he can have a hug, if i'm sure it's all right. meanwhile, i'm feeling perfectly content with him going out, so i'm sure there's nothing on my face or in my demeanor that would say otherwise. i look for another clue as to why he's getting upset, but there's nothing, no logical reason.

and then i remember something i heard a couple of years ago: humans, when they choose their mates, have a chemical release in their brains that makes them desire to be with their mate 24/7 for the first year of the relationship. and i remembered that last week, we went through the same thing. and of course i did the same thing to him when i left for spokane, and occasionally even feel distraught in the morning leaving him. of course it feels pathetic wanting to be around him all the time, but knowing that there's a biological explanation to it makes it somewhat easier.

the question i would really like answered, though, is if humans are naturally monogamous, or if it's a social construct. are we really polygamous without our high-capacity brains?

1 comment:

crystal said...

a great question that is heatedly debated. i don't know if there is an answer. i think society tends to overrule nature in areas such as this. look up polyandry in tibet and the nayar society of india.

my question is: how is monogamy defined? is monogamy based only on sex, or does the emotional aspect come in to play?